The other day I was picking up the house. There were legos, baseballs, and books all over my boy’s room. I think it was the 97th time I had picked up the same toys in the last 3 days. I took a deep breath and went on to clean the next room. When I did, I noticed my planner sitting at my desk, then my eyes shifted to the trash I needed to empty, and oh wait there was my phone; I remembered I needed to call my mom to ask her something. My mind was going in 456 thousand directions, and the second I picked up my phone I realized I added about 8 more.
Tired of Perfection
I sat down at my desk, looked at the clock and was mad at myself for sleeping later than normal, because that was why I was so behind on everything. As a wife, work-from-home mom, and leader of a ministry the basic tasks like laundry, cleaning, and dishes have suffered. And let’s just be real, most days I put my highlight reel on social media, but on this particular day I wanted to make my facebook status this:
I am so tired of making things perfect. My house is a mess, my husband and I are fighting, and I need to catch up on work. But all I want to do is curl up in my bed and ignore it all.
My heart started to race just typing it in this article, this was the opposite of perfect. I figured if I went through with it, my first phone call would be my concerned mom, then probably my best friend Donna May coming to my rescue. But my biggest concern and the reason I didn’t do it was because I worried what people might think of me. I love people and for years getting the approval of others has been something I have struggled with. Especially from other moms and people I know who are just waiting on me to fall flat on my face (yes, those people exist). So on these days I wear a mask out in public that looks like a SMILE has been slapped on, and continue to make my fake posts.
I was tired of perfection, so I ignored my “to do” list, and googled “perfect Scripture in the Bible.” Here was the first one I read.
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let your endurance have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
My heart sank. I finally recognized what was standing right in front me, “trials of various kinds.” The biggest thing I lacked was what is written in the second part, “testing of your faith produces endurance.” Instead of having faith and gaining endurance, I was working so hard by taking control and gaining exhaustion. And the exhaustion was causing the exact opposite of perfect in my life, it was causing chaos. In that moment I looked around and decided that day I would choose to embrace these trials, but this time with FAITH. It’s only by God’s love in my life that I can conquer my “to do” list with Joy.
It’s only by God’s rest and peace in my life that I can have the endurance to finish what HE has called me to. That day I threw perfect out of my vocabulary and replaced it with GRACE. God did not call me OR YOU to slap a fake smile on, make a fake status, or work for perfection, HE has called us to have faith and endure. Without the trials, we can’t have endurance, and without faith we cannot be made complete.
Whatever your “trial” looks like today, be thankful for it, because without it you can’t have the endurance. Lace up your running shoes, grab your Bible, and “count it all joy” because Jesus is right there ready to grow your faith and make you complete in Him.
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