When you were growing up did you have dreams of doing something or being a part of something, so everything you did fueled that desire?
I used to love being in plays, being on stage, and performing. I loved people and the community of our drama club. I grew up with a burning desire to be an actress living in NYC.
When I was in high school choosing a college my guidance counselor took one look at me and without any hesitation told me I needed to attend MTSU and get a degree in Broadcasting. I thought this would be a great stepping stone to the big stage. I loved all my classes and did some reporting for our local market and enjoyed all of my speech classes where I got to share my heart. Every time I turned in a job application I clung to the verse:
“Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this.” Psalm 37:4-5
I mean it says right there that God will give me my desires, and let me tell you this was a dream of mine since birth. But as I grew older the dream faded. I married my blue eyed hottie, we have 2 healthy beautiful boys, we have traveled the world doing mission work, and now have a wonderful job where we both can work from home. There have been seasons where I would look online for jobs or watched channel 10 news longing to sit in that anchor chair. I also used to feel like there were just certain scriptures I would never understand. Why wasn’t God giving me my desire?
Last fall when the Lord gave me the influence for Beautifully Designed Ministries by having 9,000 join my online Bible Study I was thrilled. I love people and I love sharing my heart. I have struggled with anxiety, depression, and losing my identity and the message of God giving me freedom and love burned in my soul to share. Now the ministry is 16,000 strong and we just had our first nation wide Back the Blue day service project. WBIR Channel 10 News came to share how over 600 cities in all 50 states participated and interviewed me and my team (see my cheesy picture). I seriously couldn’t contain my excitement, then it hit me! God’s design wasn’t for me to share the world’s news his destiny for me was to share the GOOD NEWS of a RISEN GOD.
I was able to share Christ’s love on TV through the ministry Beautifully Designed. The second part of the scripture says, “commit your way to the Lord; TRUST in HIM and he will do this.”
There were times my trust wavered because of my selfish desires or thinking I must of just missed my calling. But God had a different plan, it’s HIS desire to use my life to serve HIM and to make HIS name known to an exhausted, frustrated, and hurting world. God wanted me to DESIRE HIM not a career.
If you feel like you are in a waiting room and your prayers are not being answered, SEEK and TRUST HIM and make time to listen. HE is always speaking and working but sometimes were too distracted to see that HIS desire for us is to grow our relationship with HIM. I am thankful for my UNANSWERED prayers because HIS ways are always higher. Cling to HIS WORD today.