Remember that feeling you had when you were in school and you got your lunch tray and then had to walk around to find an empty seat? Oh man, the stares and fast heartbeat feel so real as I think back. I referenced this in episode one because I have experienced times where this same feeling would come over me even in adulthood.
EPISODE 2: You are invited….
I think as women we have a longing desire to be “invited.” When we find ourselves in social situations we immediately find the empty seat and pray it can be ours or walk up and “hope” were invited into the conversation. And as you engage with others around you, you just hope they will accept you and you will “fit in.” Now, I am a people pleaser so I will work really hard to find that one “common” thing to make conversation go easier. So whether you starting a new job, visiting a church, walking into a PTO meeting, or moving into assisted living you crave to fill an empty seat at the table.
Regardless of what season of life you are in, more then likely you will experience this. We all have the desire to be invited. I bet you have had some negative emotions come over you about this topic because you can remember the ONE or FEW times you were “uninvited.” We tend to remember the few times our feelings were hurt WAY more then the hundreds of times we WERE included or encouraged (Why is that)? Why is it so much easier to put on REPLAY the amount of times we felt like an outsider?
I recently experienced this as a 36-year-old woman. I walked into someone’s house and one of my “friends” completely ignored me. I mean made a point to go in the opposite direction anytime I was close, I immediately started racking my brain on “what did I do wrong?” I made the decision to leave that night and let it torment my heart for weeks. Should I call her? Did I say something wrong? Is she mad at me?
I went through about 598 different scenarios, until I came up with the conclusion, that through that interaction and the lack of engagement on my social media, she doesn’t like me. And ladies if you know anything about me, you know that I will work hard for someone to like me (I will force hug you, inconvenience myself to help you, because I want you to love me). It took me a long time to realize that this probably isn’t a healthy way of living. And you better believe some tears were shed when I came to the realization that I don’t fit in with this particular “person” and her group.
Now, if you have my sister’s personality, you probably rolling your eyes and saying, who cares if they don’t like you. But honestly, it did matter, and it mattered A LOT. So I called one of my mentors and told her that I felt rejected and my feelings were hurt. She reminded me that forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for me. So on that day, I chose to forgive and let it go and I learned the discipline of silence. The urge to “fix” it came against the beauty of living with nothing to prove. It was like a tug of war between doing what I could and saying what I needed to make her like me, or just being silent and settling in my heart that I am loved regardless if I am included or invited by her or anyone else. This is a lesson I want to teach and share with every young girl out there, so they don’t experience this in their mid 30’s.
We weren’t created to fit in with everyone, because we weren’t created for a person.
Last week I opened my Bible to the book of John (we are doing it in our Bible study at Church). And I noticed as Jesus began his ministry and called out to his disciples he used the words “Follow me.” It was a theme the first few chapters and these 2 words pierced my heart when I read them. Follow me, a sweet invitation to follow the man that would save the World. An invitation that belongs to every human being on the planet. An invitation to every heartbeat and every soul that longs to not just be invited but to be loved with NO LIMITS.
When God created us “in His image” He created us for HIM, not for your friend to invite you to their party, the mom to include you in their conversation, or for you to prove yourself to your boss or relative. You were knit perfectly in your mother’s womb to always feel loved by your creator and to worship Him in spirit and in truth.
You have NOTHING TO PROVE, Jesus loves you because he loves you because he loves you. So open up the Word of God today and read John 1 and replace the name with yours. You have an invitation to “rest” in the ONE who beautifully designed you.
I want to end with Scripture because scripture is ALIVE and it’s the only thing that will feed your souls.
In Matthew 11:28 it says:
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
If this is the first time you are hearing about Jesus and His invitation to follow Him you can go towww.beautifullydesigned.com/meetjesus for a quick video with great resources….I would love to personally talk more with you about Jesus and His calling on your life.
Ladies, You have nothing to prove, so whether you are starting your day or ending it, I pray you rest in the fact that you have an eternal invitation for peace and an unchanging love if you just seek Him.
Ya’ll be blessed.
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