Growing up I played basketball and realized pretty quickly that I am competitive. I also found that I LOVE a good challenge. I am more motivated by someone challenging me and even taunting me that I can’t do something then anything.
Today I have a new challenge! Over the last 8 years I have dealt with anxiety and fears in my life. There have been times I wouldn’t try anything new because of the fear of failure and even the fear of success. I have dealt with negativity but the main source of it came from my own mind. There are mornings I wake up and the second my feet hit the floor I start doubting myself, insecurity seeps in my heart like poison. There are times I don’t even want to leave the house because of how I feel about myself.
Christi says
January 7, 2016 at 5:07 amAshley, reading this just brought tears to my eyes to think that you would believe these lies about yourself. You are so beautiful, yes on the outside, but the heart that you share with the community of us that have joined together with BeautfullyDesigned shines more beautiful then anything. You are so brave to walk out this calling and lead us all who have had days, sometimes weeks or even years of feeling the words your chalkboard reads. Do not let the enemy steal your joy or your power in Christ Jesus. You are a warrior woman of God and the Lord has mighty plans to use your obedient and brave heart. Thank you so much for your authenticity and brokenness and I pray tonight that you will sleep in peace and wake up in joy!
Ashley Shepherd says
January 7, 2016 at 5:10 amTHIS MEANS MORE THEN YOU KNOW! I am excited about the women who will take this challenge with me and replace those words with words FROM HIM!!!!!!! Thank you for your sweet encouragement!
LeAnn says
January 7, 2016 at 5:10 amYou are fighting this because the enemy knows you are competitive, he knows you will rise up, he knows the battles you face you will overcome and conquer them. He is a sore looser so he tries really hard to keep you exhausted hoping that just one day you will give up! BUT he has forgotten who is in your corner, Who you allow to fight your battles , who always wins, who picks u up when you get knocked down- GOD! Love u girl! Keep writing and sharing your thoughts! They are powerful!
Ashley Shepherd says
January 7, 2016 at 5:12 amI love you! Thank you for those reminders! I will NEVER stop fighting!
Rashel says
January 7, 2016 at 11:38 amAshley, you are not alone in this fight. I too have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams with a good career and a wonderful family, yet daily I bring myself down with words of hatred. I am constantly telling myself I am not good enough. It is so easy to put on a front and to hide these things from even my husband but it is true. I am grateful for this Challenge and Beautifully Designed.
Ashley Shepherd says
January 7, 2016 at 10:36 pmThank you!!! We can be in the FIGHT together!
Casey Hughes says
January 7, 2016 at 12:43 pmI can’t tell you what this post means to me! I have the same struggles daily on there isn’t a board big enough to list it all on for me! Tears this morning as I read this!! Your are Amazing!!! Are you going to be in Atlanta next weekend? I would love to meet you in person if you are…I will be there!
Ashley Shepherd says
January 7, 2016 at 10:36 pmI will be at AdvoNation in Atlanta, I will see you there!! And thank you!! Keep fighting!!!
Judy says
January 7, 2016 at 2:29 pmAshley, my heart dropped for you when I read this, but at the same time, when I read this it made me realize just how real and down to earth you are!! I pray for you that God will use you and strengthen you each day!! Even though we haven’t met I feel as if I know you personally. Thank you for the Bible Study we’re about to begin on the 11th! May God bless you each day and I pray He will remind you daily YOU ARE BEAUTIFULLY DESIGNED!!!!!
Ashley Shepherd says
January 7, 2016 at 10:35 pmTHANK YOU!
Laura Justice says
January 7, 2016 at 2:48 pmReading this brought tears to my eyes as well!! I can relate to you 100%! I am a member of a fellowship that has many many great sayings, one of which is “Our secrets keep us sick”. Bringing your dark thoughts about yourself in to the light exposes them for what they are; lies fed to us by the enemy. He is a cunning and powerful adversary but God is stronger!!! I so needed to hear this today. I am very proud of you and earnestly thank you for “telling on yourself”!!! Your new board should read Brave Bold Beautiful!!!!!!!!!
Ashley Shepherd says
January 7, 2016 at 10:35 pmI love that!!Satan is there to steal, kill, and destroy! I am so thankful God is victorious and we all know HE can help us overcome!
Malisa says
January 7, 2016 at 3:33 pmGod has truly given you a gift to speak to others. When reading this I had a vision, how sad what it be to see just what you described. Us all walking around with self doubt. I am so thankful that we can at least see other through god beautiful eyes and see the true beauty and help each fight through our own self doubts! Thank you Ashley!! Let’s get to work and fight!!
Ashley Shepherd says
January 7, 2016 at 10:34 pmI will never quit fighting!!!!! Thank you!!
Jazz benesh says
January 7, 2016 at 8:02 pmI admire your boldness.
Thank you for sharing!! I am certain that we all (strongly) disagree with what you wrote on your board. BUT, I know that’s not the point.
I love the challenge, what a bittersweet lesson in self-love/God’s love.
Ashley Shepherd says
January 7, 2016 at 10:34 pmThank you! It has been an emotional week!
Sherron says
January 8, 2016 at 2:04 amThanks for posting this! You are courageous and inspiring. I needed it after a particularly long and discouraging day. Life is good, God is good, and so are we! Just have to be kind with ourselves. Not sure how I am going to deal with all my self doubt, but I am definitely going to begin the fight against it!
Ashley Shepherd says
January 8, 2016 at 3:24 amLets fight it together! Remember FEAR HATES COMMUNITY!!! Praying for you!
Ramona says
January 8, 2016 at 3:47 amAshley. Thank you for writing this. I needed this more than you know. When i look at you and hear you speak I see strength and confidence and a beautiful lady You inspire me to be more. I was crying by the time I finished reading it. Love you sister. You are worthy. You are priceless. Reminded me of something from my childhood. “I know I am somebody cause God doesn’t make junk”
Kathy says
January 8, 2016 at 8:03 pmI needed to hear this too. I feel the same way. I’m tired of hating myself and failing at life. It’s time I started loving who God made me. Life is meant to be cherished not dreaded! Keep moving forward in your success Ashley! Love u
Amanda Rhodes says
January 8, 2016 at 9:53 pmI suffer from anxiety and worry. Beautifully Designed has helped me grow closer to God and get back into my daily devotions/quiet time.
Tina Rosas says
May 24, 2016 at 3:48 amI feel the same way. I don’t feel pretty, I am around a lot of people yet I am so alone. I am building or trying to build a relationship with our Lord but I watch from home on a lifestream only because most of the people in our small town leave the church they attend and are completely different than they are at church. Almost different people all together. I need a friend and so far Jesus is the best friend in my life. But I also feel that I need someone else to fellowship with. This website has helped so much. Thank you for that. I am still working through Fervent and also listening to The Battle is His while I am at work. Thank you for making the Podcast available.
Cayleigh Alstob says
November 27, 2017 at 3:42 amTo read this hits home so darn fast! I remember laying in my floor two weeks ago crying out why why lord am i so unable to feel energized beautiful and healthy why does my husband have to work so much and why did you chose me to lead a herd of 6 babies when i can barely fix my self? Can’t wait to read your book
Keri says
November 27, 2017 at 4:33 amThis reminds me of a study about Lies Women Believe. There have been times I’ve believed them sadly but continue growing and learning. Excited for the book.
Natalie says
November 27, 2017 at 11:28 amI put sooo many labels on myself! Not a good mother, fat, ugly, lazy, failure!!! Labels are such a hard thing but it feels good to know I’m not alone in my feelings!
Rosemary tomlin says
November 27, 2017 at 3:14 pmI struggle with being negative about my life and myself everyday. I can not wait to read your book!!
AndreaG says
November 27, 2017 at 6:01 pmI always put labels on myself. Anytime I try to challenge those labels I hear/see something that just confirms them. It’s very difficult.
Traci L says
November 27, 2017 at 11:46 pmall of the time worthless, failure, screwup, mess, dummy…the list goes on..
Amanda says
November 28, 2017 at 2:59 amI can’t wait to read the book. I label myself as fat, lazy, a parent failure and I could keep going. I know that Jesus loves me unconditionally and that my family loves me unconditionally however, I just beat myself up constantly. I can’t wait to see what God has in store as I go through the book.
Candice says
November 28, 2017 at 1:55 pmI have my book ordered and am so excited. I echo so many comments here- so many struggles we share and it’s a blessing to be able to help bear one another’s burdens and have a place to go for encouragement. Appreciate the positivity!!!!
Sarah payne says
November 29, 2017 at 5:19 amI call myself a hot mess often. Then start picking at my “flaws” and failures. 🙁
Charity Trotter says
November 29, 2017 at 8:59 pmAshley I know I just met you recently, but I also know God our you in my path for a reason. You are beautiful inside and out and every time I am around you or hear you speak from the very first day I met you I have this overwhelming feeling inside of me that brings tears to my eyes because I can only pray one day I am half the person you are. You are amazing and beautiful inside and out and God’s Love radiates through you!!! You have such a love for the Lord and for people!! You are blessed and highly favored and made perfect in every way according to God’s plan!! ?
Ashlee Keesey says
November 30, 2017 at 2:48 amReading this I see myself. You’ve given me hope.
Kelli says
November 30, 2017 at 2:58 amI struggle with this so bad, and I know I am my own worst enemy. The fears and anxieties have been created by me. But we can’t let anyone but God define us. Thank you for posting this encouragement. And Ashley, you are definitely beautifully designed; the adjectives on your chalk board are lies. God bless!
Jennifer Chatman says
November 30, 2017 at 11:30 pmI do place labels on myself. Sometimes I’m my biggest critic.
Kristi Boring says
December 1, 2017 at 12:25 amI have to keep reminding myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Over the past several months I have been very careful about what I speak about myself…even when no one else is around to hear it.